We are here for you!

København
☎ +45 70 60 60 90
copenhagen[at]vivaneo.dk

Aarhus
☎ +45 86 27 76 26
aarhus[at]vivaneo.dk

Aalborg
☎ +45 98 14 45 55
faurskov[at]fertilitet-ultralyd.dk

Holbæk
☎ +45 59 44 13 01

Skive
☎ +45 97 51 04 00
mail[at]dr-rolighed.dk



 

We look forward to hearing from you!

Lesbian couples

Every year, VivaNeo helps lesbian couples from around the world to become parents. Our entire foundation is built around the desire to create families for lesbian couples and single women. Since then, we have expanded our clinics to offer all types of modern fertility treatments, and today we are among the leading clinics in Denmark. We have extensive expertise in counselling about donor selection, we have no waiting list, and Denmark’s liberal legislation allows us to provide treatment to women up to the age of 45. We offer egg donation and double donation (in which both the sperm and egg are donated), and we make sure that your treatment is adapted to your own physical and psychological condition. This is a big decision, and it can be a long process, but our committed staff – doctors, embryologists, nurses and midwives – will not let you out of their sight during your journey towards creating a family.

VivaNeo opened the first insemination clinic for lesbian couples

In 1999, VivaNeo opened StorkKlinik which was the first private clinic to offer insemination to single and lesbian women. We are proud of our history, where Midwife Nina Stork made it possible for lesbian women to become parents at a time when the law did not permit doctors to treat women who were not married or living with a man. 

Choosing donor sperm

We have vast expertise regarding the whole process related to donor sperm. We have a close co-operation with the sperm banks, and we have also gained lots of experience around the process lesbian women have to go through when choosing donor sperm.

We will discuss choosing a donor with you. For example we will ask you: How much do you want your child to know? What will tell your child and everyone else?

For some people conceiving a child through a donor is a process that awakens very strong emotions. Emotions that they were not prepared for. A little further down this page, you can listen to a podcast and see a video from a lesbian couple, Anja and Gro Hammerseng-Edin, who talk about their experience of the process around choosing a donor.

Five important questions about having a donor-conceived child

Would you like an open, anonymous plus or an anonymous donor?

It is entirely up to you. No decision is better than another one. 

Our advice is that in the majority of cases whatever feels right for you and your partner will be best for your child. The important thing therefore is to consider the options available to you and decide on that basis.

When we ask single women and lesbian couples about their decision, we can see that most of them choose open donors, particularly in Denmark, where there is a lot of openness about different types of families. It is also to do with the fact that women do not want to restrict the child. Some single women might say: “As I can’t give my child a father, at least I can use an open donor.” We’re also finding that more heterosexual couples are choosing open donors than before due to an increased openness generally in society. Others choose an anonymous plus or an anonymous donor, because they want to take responsibility for the child (choose on the child’s behalf) and thus not just pass on/hand over a possible decision to the child regarding finding out more later in life. 

What will you decide yourself, and what will you leave up to the clinic?

One important thing you should consider is: What will you decide yourself? For some people it is really important to be involved in every decision. Some people want a donor with blond hair and blue eyes. Other people are more concerned about having a donor that shares their values, outlook on life and interests. While some people don’t want to have any influence on this decision. 

However, most people have one or more things on their wish list, and there is certainly nothing wrong with that. It is important to emphasize though that we cannot give any guarantees. Even if the donor has blue eyes, the clinic will never be able to guarantee that the child will also have blue eyes, etc. 

If the only thing you want is a child with blond hair and blue eyes, then the clinic can select a donor with these features for you. If we are selecting a donor for you, we will not have any more information that you. We do not know the donor; it is the only the sperm banks who deal with donors.

What will you do if it transpires that the donor has a hereditary disorder?

We all have genetic abnormalities. This also applies to a donor. Even though the donor will have been screened and tested for several different disorders, naturally we cannot give any guarantees. But generally, the child is better off than most naturally-conceived children, because the donor is screened and tested. In many cases, the donor will typically have previously donated sperm for other children, and we would be informed if, for example, he was in quarantine while investigations were taking place to see if the reported malformation or disorder in a child could be attributed to the donor. 

Are you keen to have more than one child?

We’re often asked: “How much donor sperm should I buy?” It is really difficult to advise you about as we can’t know this. However, an important question to consider early in the process is the possibility of having full siblings: “If everything goes well, will you have more than one child? If so, is it important for you to have the same donor?” This, naturally, will have a bearing on the amount you should buy/reserve at the present time, and applies to open, anonymous plus and anonymous donors. 

When will you tell your child that they were conceived via a donor? 

What have you actually thought about saying to the child? When will you tell your child? How will you tell your child? When choosing to have a donor-conceived child, we recommend that you think about the child’s story right from the start.

We find that some people take things as they come, other plan what they’re going to say while others like to write a diary from when they first start to consider the process up until they’re holding a baby in their arms. The diary can later become a gift for the child. 

And don’t forget … a donor-conceived child is a much longed-for child. They were longed-for way before they were conceived. It’s an option. Their mother has wanted them, as has their co-mother or father. And they were wanted by the donor. It’s a big gift, including being told this later in life!

Who does the sperm donation come from?

The sperm donations usually come from a sperm bank, in which they are usually stored frozen (cryopreservation).

The sperm donors are very carefully selected by the sperm banks beforehand. For example, they must be

• between 18 and 38 years old,

• completely healthy both physically and mentally – so they must not have any infectious diseases or hereditary illnesses in the family – and

• have an optimal sperm quality as well as a high sperm count.

The sperm donors receive compensation for their donations.

 

What are the options for sperm donation?

If you are having fertility treatment using donor sperm, there are several options available to you: 

You can let us choose a donor for you based on your wishes regarding eye colour, hair colour and height. We will do our utmost to accommodate your wishes, but we cannot guarantee anything.

You can purchase donor sperm through our clinic based on your wishes regarding eye colour, hair colour and height. You will be guaranteed your wishes, and the sperm will be ready when you come for insemination. You can purchase donor sperm yourself and choose from different characteristics. The following are links to the sperm banks we work with: 

www.europeanspermbank.com

www.cryosinternational.com

www.sellmerdiers.com

Network for lesbian and donor children

As more and more donor children come into the world through the assistance of VivaNeo a need arose for this group to meet. Since 2006, donor children and their families—generally lesbian and single women—have been able to meet up at the annual Stork Event in Copenhagen, which has attracted large numbers of families from Denmark, Norway, Sweden and other European countries. This creates a special community, and it’s special for the children to meet other children who also have two mothers.

Further topics you might be interested in

We are here for you!

Please feel free to contact us! 

Contact form

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VivaNeo Stork København

☎ +45 70 60 60 90
copenhagen[at]vivaneo.dk

VivaNeo Ciconia Aarhus
☎ +45 86 27 76 26
aarhus[at]vivaneo.dk

Aalborg
☎ +45 98 14 45 55
faurskov[at]fertilitet-ultralyd.dk

Holbæk
☎ +45 59 44 13 01

Skive
☎ +45 97 51 04 00
mail[at]dr-rolighed.dk



We look forward to hearing from you!