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You are here: Vivaneo Dänemark Your circumstances Hetero couple

Hetero couples

We focus on you and your wishes and make sure to create a treatment specifically to you. We advise and take the time to listen to you and your specific situation. Fertility treatment is about both of you - it is a joint project where both of you have to be seen and heard and therefore we make a lot of effort to draw both of you into the initial conversation and the treatment itself.

Before treatment

The electronic journal

Please fill in the electronic journal. Since you both need to register, it will be a good idea to fill it in together. Here are both questions for the man and the woman. If you have any questions about the actual completion, we are here for you.

All couples having fertility treatment using their own sperm must, as a minimum, do the following test:

• Hepatitis B - HbsAg, Anti-HBc and Hepatitis C - anti HCV

• HIV - anti-HIV 1 + 2

For the woman we also recommend:

* Blood test for TSH and TPO, rubella (red dogs), Clamydia and AMH

* HSU (Water Scanning) In a water scan we can, with ultrasound, examine whether the woman has a normal uterus and whether there is free passage of the eggs through the fallopian tubes. HSU is a clear recommendation before insemination.

For the man we also recommend:

* Sperm analysis: Here we are interested in knowing how the sperm cells look - how they move, their number etc. If you have already done a sperm analysis, please send it or bring it to the consultation. If a sperm analysis has not previously been made, we can do this at the clinic, but only if an appointment is made in good time.

Things to consider before starting fertility treatment

Sperm donor

In case you need sperm from a donor, we are ready to advise you. We have many years of experience in using donor sperm and are happy to guide you. In Denmark, the law allows fertility treatments with an open and anonymous donor. You can either choose donor sperm from our clinic or you can order donor sperm from one of the Danish sperm banks. Here you can read much more about donor sperm.

Donor eggs

In case you need eggs from a donor, we will get in touch with our internal egg donation team as soon as possible. Our talented team will advise you and explain a possible egg donation process, so you feel calm and confident when you leave the clinic after the conversation.

Raising a donor-conceived child

Becoming the parent of a donor-conceived child is a process that gives rise to many thoughts and emotions — not just in relation to selecting a donor but also, and to a greater extent, when the child is a bit older.

So if you are considering becoming a parent using donor sperm, then you will find that we have a lot of experience and expertise in VivaNeo in this area. You can also become part of a network for parents of donor-conceived children.

Five important questions about having a donor-conceived child

Would you like an open, anonymous plus or an anonymous donor?

It is entirely up to you. No decision is better than another one.

Our advice is that in the majority of cases whatever feels right for you and your partner will be best for your child. The important thing therefore is to consider the options available to you and decide on that basis.

When we ask single women and lesbian couples about their decision, we can see that most of them choose open donors, particularly in Denmark, where there is a lot of openness about different types of families. It is also to do with the fact that women do not want to restrict the child. Some single women might say: “As I can’t give my child a father, at least I can use an open donor.” We’re also finding that more heterosexual couples are choosing open donors than before due to an increased openness generally in society. Others choose an anonymous plus or an anonymous donor, because they want to take responsibility for the child (choose on the child’s behalf) and thus not just pass on/hand over a possible decision to the child regarding finding out more later in life.

What will you decide yourself, and what will you leave up to the clinic?

One important thing you should consider is: What will you decide yourself? For some people it is really important to be involved in every decision. Some people want a donor with blond hair and blue eyes. Other people are more concerned about having a donor that shares their values, outlook on life and interests. While some people don’t want to have any influence on this decision.

However, most people have one or more things on their wish list, and there is certainly nothing wrong with that. It is important to emphasize though that we cannot give any guarantees. Even if the donor has blue eyes, the clinic will never be able to guarantee that the child will also have blue eyes, etc.

If the only thing you want is a child with blond hair and blue eyes, then the clinic can select a donor with these features for you. If we are selecting a donor for you, we will not have any more information that you. We do not know the donor; it is the only the sperm banks who deal with donors.

What will you do if it transpires that the donor has a hereditary disorder?

We all have genetic abnormalities. This also applies to a donor. Even though the donor will have been screened and tested for several different disorders, naturally we cannot give any guarantees. But generally, the child is better off than most naturally-conceived children, because the donor is screened and tested. In many cases, the donor will typically have previously donated sperm for other children, and we would be informed if, for example, he was in quarantine while investigations were taking place to see if the reported malformation or disorder in a child could be attributed to the donor.

Are you keen to have more than one child?

We’re often asked: “How much donor sperm should I buy?” It is really difficult to advise you about as we can’t know this. However, an important question to consider early in the process is the possibility of having full siblings: “If everything goes well, will you have more than one child? If so, is it important for you to have the same donor?” This, naturally, will have a bearing on the amount you should buy/reserve at the present time, and applies to open, anonymous plus and anonymous donors.

When will you tell your child that they were conceived via a donor?

What have you actually thought about saying to the child? When will you tell your child? How will you tell your child? When choosing to have a donor-conceived child, we recommend that you think about the child’s story right from the start.

We find that some people take things as they come, other plan what they’re going to say while others like to write a diary from when they first start to consider the process up until they’re holding a baby in their arms. The diary can later become a gift for the child.

And don’t forget … a donor-conceived child is a much longed-for child. They were longed-for way before they were conceived. It’s an option. Their mother has wanted them, as has their co-mother or father. And they were wanted by the donor. It’s a big gift, including being told this later in life!

Network of donor-conceived children

As more and more donor children were coming into the world through the assistance of VivaNeo, a need arose to create a network for parents of donor-conceived children. Therefore, since 2006, VivaNeo has organized the annual Stork Event where donor-conceived children can meet.

It’s a big experience for donor-conceived children to meet other donor-conceived children and not least see that there are many different types of families. For the parents of donor-conceived children, it is a good opportunity to speak with their children and to meet others with similar origins to their own. New friendships and relationships often start here.

Further topics you might be interested in

hInteresting topics

Parenthood single women

Parenthood lesbian couples

IVF